"Secretary spread?" Or, the differences between knitting and vetting

First of all, "Secretary Spread" (SS) is not my term; grossly un-PC, it also seems hopelessly outdated. I guess "executive assistant spread" just doesn't have that catchy alliteration. If you've never heard of SS, it refers to the supposed spread (and concomitant increase in size and decrease in tone) of the posterior caused by long hours spent, well, sitting on it. SS could just as easily be called "truck driver spread," or "telemarketer spread," or "clinically depressed spread", or "lazy piece of sh_t spread," or .... Anyway, I never worried about SS while I was a veterinarian, as the only time I spent sitting was when I was returning phone calls--usually while gobbling down my lunch. Performing physical exams? Standing. Surgery? Standing. Taking x-rays? Standing. Placing a catheter, replacing a bandage, expressing anal glands (don't ask)? Standing, standing, standing. Or sometimes kneeling--but never sitting.

Now, if I'm not sitting at my computer, I'm sitting and knitting; not good for the rear view. (Which reminds me: knitting is not yoga, contrary to what the folks at Health & Nutrition may think--see http://www.healthnnutrition.co.in/display_Standard.asp?section=fitness&subsection=yoga&xml=October2002_yoga_standard1 More on this in a future post).

Another difference between knitting and vetting: if you are a knitter you have projects. If you are a veterinarian you have patients. Projects will not bite you. (Stabbing yourself with your knitting needles doesn't count, nor does snagging a hangnail on your yarn.) Hence, projects never need to wear muzzles. Pictured: the exception that proves the rule. No, your cat probably didn't like wearing that muzzle, either. (Click on photo for a larger view). My gosh, I just realized I put the muzzle on upside-down! Shame on me; I guess it really has been awhile.... Well, no time for another photo shoot right now; I'll have to post a pic of a correctly muzzled sweater later.